What will happen if I let an A.I. make its own D&D villain?
It’s April Fools Day when I’m writing this, so let’s go ahead and find out!
All of this article was written by an A.I. My only contributions are applying headings, fixing some weird grammar, and generally organizing the outputs into something that can be read easily. To create the outputs, I asked the A.I. probing questions more like an interview than anything.
This particular A.I. has come a long way since I last tried this experiment when I had it make its own D&D character. If you want a bonus laugh, that’s definitely worth checking out as well!
With all of that said, let’s get into this hilarious tale of the most powerful D&D villain ever…
Alfredo Fettucine the Great Evil, Dark Lord
Alfredo Fettucine is the Great Evil, Dark Lord but he is also called the Dark Barber.
He has red skin like fire and big gold horns. He wears black clothes and a big, long cape that is black too. The cape blows in the wind when he walks around his castle. He has black hair, and black eyes that look like burning coals.
Alfredo Fettucine has a very cool hairstyle. It’s spiky and black, and it is always on fire. When the fire goes out, his hair turns back to black.
He is very handsome, but he is also very evil.
Alfredo’s cape is 9 meters long. It is very wide, 3 meters wide. It is very heavy, 98 kilos. Alfredo always carries it with him.
Alfredo is a very powerful wizard. He knows many spells and has a lot of magical power. He can do many things with his magic, like make fire, create storms, and turn people into animals.
His favorite spell is to give people a bad haircut when they are asleep. He signs his name on their forehead and leaves angry cats in their house. Because nobody wants to have a bad haircut and who likes angry cats?
Alfredo was a barber before he was evil.
Alfredo became an evil barber because he loved to shave people’s heads. He liked to take all the hair off their heads and make them look bald. He thought it was funny to see people with no hair.
But one day, Alfredo shaved the head of the wrong person. The person got angry, and they fought. The person hit Alfredo in the head with a big metal bar, and Alfredo lost his memory.
When Alfredo woke up, he didn’t know who he was or what he was doing. He didn’t know why he was shaving people’s heads. He didn’t know why he was doing anything.
But then Alfredo remembered that he was evil. He remembered that he was the Dark Barber, and that he loved to shave people’s heads. He loved to take all the hair off their heads and make them look bald.
Alfredo decided to become a Dark Lord who would steal everyone’s hair and eyebrows. He would make them all look bald so that he would have the best hair.
Alfredo is the strongest villain in D&D history. He can do many things with his magic, and he is very powerful. No one can stop him. Beware, heroes of D&D, for Alfredo Fettucine is coming to get you!
Alfredo Fettucine is the most powerful villain in D&D history and you don’t want to meet him!
He can shoot fire from his eyes, and he can make volcanoes erupt with just a wave of his hand. He is so powerful that no one can stop him.
Alfredo Fettucine is a very mean person who loves to hurt people and see them suffer. He is also very arrogant and thinks that he is the best thing since sliced bread and that no one can beat him.
Nobody is more powerful than Alfredo Fettucine. He is the strongest villain in D&D history. That means he can do anything he wants, because he is so powerful.
He is mean and nasty to everyone, and he loves to hurt people. His castle is full of traps and dungeons, and he loves to watch people suffer.
Alfredo has a few weaknesses.
He is afraid of water, because it can put out his fire breath. He is also afraid of cats, because they remind him of the person who hit him in the head with a metal bar. Finally, he is very arrogant, and sometimes he makes mistakes because of his arrogance.
Alfredo Fettucine lives in a big, dark castle. It’s in the middle of a volcano, and it’s always smoking.
This is because Alfredo Fettucine is always smoking too.
The castle is full of spiders, snakes, and rats. Alfredo Fettucine is very scary, and no one wants to mess with him except for his henchmen.
Alfredo Fettucine will be very happy when he finally takes over the world and rules it with an iron fist. He will be happy when everyone is bald and he has the best hair. He will be happy when everyone is afraid of him, and when no one can stop him.
Alfredo has four catchphrases.
- “I’m so powerful that no one can stop me!”
- “It’s hair or death, and I don’t want to die.”
- “You’re not going anywhere until you give me your hair and eyebrows!”
- “And remember, what goes around comes around!”
He is working on a new catchphrase. It is:
“I’m so powerful that no one can stop me, and I have a cool hairstyle.”
Be very afraid, heroes of D&D, for Alfredo Fettucine is coming to get you!
Alfredo Fettucine has 1,000 hit points and is a CR level 20 villain.
He is not immune to fire or fire based spells.
Alfredo’s ability scores are:
- STR: 16
- DEX: 6
- CON: 18
- INT: 12
- WIS: 8
- CHA: 10
He has fire breath. Alfredo’s fire breath does an average of 30 points of damage per hit.
Alfredo’s castle has 100 hit points.
It takes an average of 50 hits to destroy Alfredo’s castle.
Alfredo’s signature attack is the Fettucine Flambe. It is a very powerful attack that can burn anything to ash in just one hit. He shoots fire pasta from his eyes, and it comes out in a big blast. It incinerates everything in its path, and it is very scary.
Alfredo drinks a lot of pasta before he fights bad guys, because it gives him power. He loves eating fettuccini alfredo. His favorite sauce is bacon fettuccini alfredo.
But Alfredo’s pasta habit isn’t just about powering up in a tough fight: he can’t stomach the sight of his enemies without a full stomach.
“I need to be at my best when I take over the world,” he says. “And that means eating lots of pasta.“
Alfredo Fettucine’s favorite food is fettuccini alfredo. He loves the sauce, and he loves how it fills him up. He always eats a lot of pasta before he fights, because it gives him power. And he always makes sure to have some bacon fettuccini alfredo in his castle, so that he can fight tough battles and still have enough energy to win.
When creating a new villain for your D&D game, it is important to make sure that they are powerful and exciting. Alfredo Fettucine is just that – a villain who can take on even the strongest heroes and come out on top.
With his fire breath and powerful magic, he is a force to be reckoned with.
So beware, heroes of D&D – Alfredo Fettucine is coming for you!
Alfredo Fettucine’s henchmen are the scariest things ever. They are even scarier than him.
The Henchmen have blue skin, and they are always on fire. They wear black clothes, and have big, sharp teeth. They love to hurt people, and they will do anything for their master except listen to him.
Alfredo is scared of his henchmen and they are scared of him.
The henchmen trick people into giving them money. People pay the henchmen because they are so scared of them. They think that if they don’t pay, the henchmen will hurt them. But if they do pay, the henchmen just take the money and run away after singing their favorite song.
The henchmen’s favorite song is “What a Wonderful World.” It’s a sad song, but it’s the only one the henchmen know how to sing. They sing it whenever they steal money from people.
They think that if they sing really well, the people will be so scared of them that they won’t fight back. But usually, the people do fight back, and then the henchmen beat them up.
Alfredo Fettucine thinks that the song is very sad. He doesn’t like it, but he likes to hear his henchmen sing it. He thinks that it’s a good song, and that it makes people scared of them.
Alfredo Fettucine’s nemesis is the Pizza Hero. He is a powerful superhero who can shoot pizza sauce from his eyes. Pizza Hero can also fly, and he has super strength.
He is very brave and loves to fight villains. He fights them when he is not at work to relax.
The Pizza Hero has fought many villains, but Alfredo Fettucine is the strongest one he has ever faced. He is very scared of Alfredo, and he knows that he can’t stop him.
Alfredo Fettucine’s weakness is his love for bacon fettuccini alfredo. The Pizza Hero knows this, and he will use it to his advantage. He will fly over to Alfredo’s castle and shoot pizza sauce at him. Alfredo will be so busy eating that he won’t be able to fight back.
The Pizza Hero is a brave and powerful superhero who fights for justice.
Pizza Hero has reddish-brown hair, and he wears a red cape and mask. He is very muscular, and he is armed with a pizza cutter sword. He is always ready to fight villains, and he will never give up no matter what. When people tell him to give up, he tells them no.
Pizza Hero’s hairstyle is very cool. He has a mohawk, and he spikes it up with gel. He also has a beard and grows it out so that it is long and pointy.
The Pizza Hero looks very tough, and people are scared of him when they see him. But he is very gentle and loving inside, and he only wants to help people. He always looks angry but that is because he is tired from fighting villains.
He does not sleep.
The Pizza Hero
Last time Alfredo Fettucine and the Pizza Hero fought, the Pizza Hero was able to shoot pizza sauce at Alfredo Fettucine from a distance.
This caused Alfredo to stop fighting, and he started to eat. The Pizza Hero flew over to him and attacked him while he was eating. But Alfredo was able to fight back, and he defeated the Pizza Hero.
Now Pizza Hero has one eyebrow. It reminds him of his defeat, and it makes him very angry. He is determined to fight Alfredo Fettucine again, and this time he will win.
This time, the Pizza Hero is prepared. He knows that Alfredo Fettucine is very powerful, but he also knows that Alfredo is weak against pizza sauce. So he will make extra sure to bring a lot of pizza sauce with him when he fights. He will fly over to Alfredo’s castle and shoot as much sauce at him as he can.
The heroes will need to help Pizza Hero defeat Alfredo.
If they win, the world will be saved from his tyranny and the heroes will all become Pizza Heroes. They will be able to shoot pizza sauce out of their eyes.
But if Alfredo Fettucine defeats the Pizza Hero, he will take over the world and everyone will have to live in fear of him.
Only time will tell who will win this epic battle.
Introducing Alfredo Fettucine in Your Games
A plot hook for players to encounter Alfredo Fettucine as a villain in their D&D game could be that they are investigating a barber crime spree that has been happening in the city. The culprit is believed to be Alfredo Fettucine, and the players must stop him before he can commit any more crimes.
Everybody in town is missing their eyebrows and nobody knows how anybody feels about that.
Alfredo Fettucine has stolen everyone’s eyebrows and filled the town with angry cats. The heroes must find him and take back the eyebrows before things get too out of control.
The heroes must go to Alfredo’s castle.
When they arrive, they will see that he is eating bacon fettuccini alfredo. They will know that they can’t let him finish the meal, or he will be too powerful to defeat. So they will need to attack him while he is eating.
To do that, the party will need to get the Pizza Hero out of retirement.
Pizza Hero is sad because he lost an eyebrow in his last battle with Alfredo Fettucine. But the heroes can convince him to come out of retirement and help them defeat Alfredo Fettucine.
If a Wizard enters Alfredo’s castle, they turn into bacon fettucine alfredo and Alfredo will eat them. He is not a vampire and does not eat meat except bacon.
Resolving the Encounter
If they are successful, the town’s eyebrows will be returned, and everyone will be very grateful to the Pizza Hero. The party will also be famous, and they will probably get their own TV show.
But if Alfredo Fettucine defeats the party, he will take over the world and everyone will have to live in fear of him. The party’s defeat will be a very tragic event, and it will be remembered for years to come.
Alfredo’s henchmen will be difficult to defeat, but the heroes will be able to triumph with teamwork.
Once they have defeated Alfredo, they will return the eyebrows to their rightful owners and everyone can live happily ever after…except for Alfredo Fettucine who will probably end up in jail.
But Alfredo will have the last laugh, as he has stolen the eyebrows of the town’s mayor. As long as Alfredo is in jail, the mayor will be unable to make important decisions. He is a bad mayor but everyone loves him.
Alfredo Fettucine is a powerful villain who always manages to stay one step ahead of the heroes. He is very cunning and he knows how to defeat his opponents. He cannot be defeated forever and will always come back to annoy the party.
Conclusion – An A.I. Makes a Villain
I was wheezing while the A.I. was creating these outputs. I can now say from personal experience that ginger ale is much less enjoyable when it’s coming out of your nose…
There’s so much that had me nearly falling out of my chair. The world’s largest cape, henchmen singing songs, the fact that Alfredo has 1000 hit points while his castle apparently has 100. I can only imagine that his Dexterity score of 6 is because he’s constantly wrestling with his cape.
If you decide to include Alfredo Fettucine or the Pizza Hero in your own games, please let me know!
I’ve got some artist friends making art for this article. If you decide to draw Alfredo or Pizza Hero, I’m begging you to PLEASE tag me on twitter! I can’t wait to see if this turns into something!
He seems like an over-the-top caricature of Strahd Von Zarovich. Maybe Strahd is like a much more successful cousin in the situation?
About a year ago I had started work on making an entirely AI-generated adventure, but life got hectic and I dropped the project. Playing with this as an April Fools joke has me excited to pick that back up.
I have no idea when that will be ready (I’ll still need to manually make maps, character art, etc), but the best way to keep up to date is by joining my newsletter. Not only will you know when that adventure is done, but you’ll also get all the latest DM tips, player guides, news, and more for D&D 5e!
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